Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
