i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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