I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
