Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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