the condom got lost in my hair
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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