So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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