They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
