quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
