the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
