Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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