Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
