That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I am never drinking with the goths again.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
