After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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