Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
