Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
