I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
