I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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