you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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