Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
