I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I have feelings that need drinking.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
