Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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