That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
