i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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