I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
