is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
