we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
