i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
