Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
