I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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