I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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