My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
