Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
