so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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