So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
