Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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