Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
