i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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