Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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