D3 body, D1 cock
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
