your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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