If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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