Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she smelled like a LAN party
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
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She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
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How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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