Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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