I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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