Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
