I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im having a threesome with these popsicles
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
