So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
