She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
