He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
