i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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