Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
