do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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