"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
