she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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