who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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