I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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