He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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