whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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