Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
