So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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