To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
