it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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