it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
