Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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