Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
